How to learn to reflect
To prevent reflection from turning into self-defeat, you need to think about yourself in the right way. Here’s what you can do:
Start small: You don’t need to spend hours thinking about yourself. Try to start with 10-15 minutes. This is generally enough to feel the positive effects of reflection. You can gradually increase the time, as long as you don’t get too carried away.
Think about something useful or good. For example, plan tomorrow or remind yourself of today’s successes. If you experience a setback, think about what you have learned from the situation.
Find out how you can best reflect. For example, the best way to reflect is to go for a walk in the park or lie in silence with your eyes closed. You may also find it easier to keep a diary or talk to a counselor. Basically, it doesn’t matter where you think. Thinking in a subway car on the way to work is no worse than introspection in a quiet environment.
Don’t get flustered and don’t immediately drop everything if you can’t sit still or don’t understand what’s going on. It is normal not to know or understand something. The most important thing is not to worry about whether you are reflecting correctly or not.
Remember that your perception cannot be completely objective. People tend to think they are better than they actually are. Take this into account when you reflect on your actions and try to be honest with yourself. Only then will the reflection be beneficial.
Ask yourself the right questions. Instead of “Why?” and “Who is to blame?”, it is better to ask “What is going on?” and “What options do I have?”. This will help you to really understand the problem and draw conclusions instead of endlessly digesting the consequences.
Try to look at yourself from the outside, as if you were thinking about another person. When you step outside yourself (mentally, without mysticism), you can understand yourself better. For example, you can think less emotionally about your positive and negative qualities.
